My visit to a Carvana Vending Machine

Hey, before I begin my story, I need to disclose to you that I am a Carvana employee. I also need to state that my opinions are my own and my employers did not put me up to this for some sort of free exposure or something. Besides, I see the stats, this site doesn’t get a lot of attention. For now. I got some projects in the works.

Anyway, you’re here to follow me on my journey through the Carvana vending machine. A little background on the company, in case you haven’t heard of them before, or not sure what they do.

Carvana is a used car dealership, basically. But, different. For one, they do their entire process online. I tell people what was told to me: Carvana operates like if Amazon sold cars. That’s an idea of how they work. You buy your car and it gets delivered to your house. I got my car from them. Right to my front door.

Well, if you don’t get it delivered, you just end up with Digiorno pizza. Crap, I’m hungry as I write this. No, you get your CAR from the vending machine.

It sounds exactly as it is. You put in a coin, and out comes a car. It’s brilliant, really. It’s unique.

So, how did I end up in a Carvana vending machine 2 and a half hours away? I had to deliver something down there. I drove. At least I was on the clock (you better believe it!). The drive itself was actually pretty smooth and I was just jamming away to my Spotify. My GPS lady was guiding me all the way down there, too. She was nice; but sounded too old for me. She’d probably be a cougar. I don’t need one of those yet.

Hm, ah yes, the vending machine.

The tower wasn’t as tall as I thought it would be. But, it was a magnificent sight. As you can see in the photo, it’s a clear display of cars. It reminds you of a…vending machine.

So, the team inside of the joint-er I mean hub were really nice. I would believe they are nice to everyone; not just fellow employees. Carvanians? See, now I don’t know if that sounds right. I’m a Carvanian? Am I? Sounds close to cardigan? Am I a sweater? Actually, it’s one syllable off. It doesn’t work. What am I thinking about!?

So, anyway, let’s talk about how the vending machine works. So, you know how when you want that bag of chips, you slide a few coins inside of the machine, press your code, and the chips fall? Okay, well, usually they fall. But, I’ve been screwed over with a bag or seven that get caught on the hook and now you’re out of a dollar or something. How much are those little bags of chips now? Anybody know? Comment the prices you see. They’re still around a dollar for some brands.

I keep getting off track. Is it because I’d like this post to have a certain amount of words? No512isstillnotenoughforthispostineedtoramblemore.

So, you’d get a coin like what I have in my hand. I’ve always wanted one of those coins. They have key chain versions of it too. Only thing is, the key chain only shows the side with the Carvana logo. I didn’t even know the other side with the “Token” existed. This token is better than Chuck E. Cheese’s! So, they gave me that coin to keep. I was so happy. I asked for it, too.

So, one of the Advocates showed me a little of their process via tablet and stuff. I won’t go into those details, but let’s just say it helps activate the machine.

So, after you get your coin, you put it inside of a slot.

After that, all of the magic happens, basically. They have a monitor that gives you a live action shot of your car moving and grooving throughout the machine, making its way down to that area that you see in the photo. It’s basically a series of elevators and rollers that move the car. It’s all transparent with the live feed and then the large glass display for when it’s right in front of you. So, you see the entire journey of your car. It’s pretty amazing.

You know what’s funny? I’ve always had this rule when I first started to drive: I only want to drive somewhere if the amount of time I spend at the destination is longer than the entire commute (to and back). So, if I drive to visit a friend an hour away, I want to spend AT LEAST two hours over there. I don’t have friends; this is pure fantasy. I spent a little over five hours for an entire commute and spent maybe 15 minutes at my destination. Uh…in retrospect, that’s a waste of time. But hey, it wasn’t on my dime, so F it.

Yet, the experience was holding a lot of growth. It’s the most I’ve driven…alone. I met some people who thought they knew my mom. Well, the one guy did. He was cool, though. Also, the area I was in has more attractive people than what I’m used to.

I didn’t see it in action, however. Um, yeah…so…but I’ve seen the Carvana videos. Combine that with what I personally saw, I could fit everything together on how it would work. Very soon, I plan on visiting the vending machine closer to me (like, I think it’s within an hour’s drive) and just waiting for people to pick up their cars. That’s my goal, baby.

So, here’s a video of me loving up on the vending machine and talking about the process a little bit more.

I am down to two options: Either my next purchase will have me picking up my car or I will get someone else to buy their car from the company and then I just tag along. Wink. Hint.

That’s 1,000 words, exactly.

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