Dante’s Opinion: Prioritizing Biological Daughter over Foster Son?

Dante’s Opinion is BACK, BABY! Today, we have a big one. It made my skin crawl. Let’s take a look: 

How can I make my foster son understand that he doesn’t get as much as my real daughter? I’m currently saving for an iPad for my daughter, and if I save expenses like getting him cheaper items from menus and such I can then put that money towards the iPad. And since she’s my actual daughter, I don’t see anything unreasonable with prioritizing her first. How can I make him understand this? Because he always seems to feel that he deserves as much as she does.

This is actually interesting. At first, I was infuriated with how you’re treating this boy like a second class citizen. Then, I paid attention.

Foster child. Eh.

See, if this were an adopted boy, this would be easy. I’d curse you out for treating him like Cinderella and that would be the end. However, there’s a grey area, here. Heck, the whole thing is temporary. You’re not bound to this kid, legally. So I can see why you seem to have no emotional attachment to this boy.

Let me state that I still think you’re pretty messed up to do this. I get it; this person isn’t even legally yours. I see how you would approach this.

However, it’s not the kid’s fault that you want to buy an iPad for your “real” daughter. I strongly…STRONGLY urge you to find another way. For as long as that boy is in your care, I feel like he should be treated as your son. Sorry, your “real” son.

It’s disturbing to me that you’re not even feeding this kid as well has her. Like, what is the standard? She can get seconds, but he can’t? She can eat steak, and he’s stuck with fast food? 

On some level, you’re damaging the boy. His experience, if it hasn’t already, will become traumatic. He’ll struggle to trust again. He may turn into a selfish monster. He may decide what’s his is his. Like, you’re really causing problems, here. He’ll think this is the family standard when/if (hopefully WHEN) he moves to the next home. That’s…I pray for that boy. My God.

Ultimately, I’m disgusted. Treat the boy RIGHT. If not for you, for him. That’s the idea why you allowed him in your home, right? To give him a place to feel wanted. So he can experience family. You’re defeating your purpose, you fool. He’s probably better off going back into the foster home to find a “REAL” family.

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